Comedian Quotes
I've been going bald since I was about 17. I'm still hanging on to my hair for dear life, but I do sometimes wonder - should I get a wig?
Ben Miller
Actor
I have exposed so much of my own real life. Like I feel like I always try to be honest and I always try to talk about where I am at and what I want.
Jim Norton
American comedian
If you have a flop movie, so what? And if you have a hit movie, it's 'so what,' too - it's on to the next movie.
Eddie Murphy
American actor
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
Lewis Black
American comedian
The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.
Patton Oswalt
American comedian
If I had posted my first video a week later, I don't know if it would have spread like it did. That's why, with everything I do, I try to enjoy the making of it instead of worrying about the release and reception.
Bo Burnham
American comedian
For me, at least with my parents, I feel that they wanted me to have all the opportunities that they did not have, and for them, that meant going to private school.
Franchesca Ramsey
American comedian
I think sketch writing is a good spot for everyone to start because it requires you to develop characters, have a beginning, middle and end and have a bunch of jokes in a short amount of time.
Blake Anderson
American actor
I went through a brief phase years ago of getting Men's Health then I realised there are actually only three ways to do a sit-up and they're just repackaging it endlessly.
Frankie Boyle
Scottish comedian
It used to be if you wanted to be a comedian, you used to just do sets. You'd go up three times a night, just get better, and then some people would see you and you'd do 'The Tonight Show,' and then boom, you're a comedian.
Kurt Braunohler
American comedian
Comedy Bang! Bang!' has meant so much to me over the years, and has brought me so much and so many new fans.
Paul F. Tompkins
American Comedian
First there was racism. Then liberals created institutional racism and coded racism. You can only hear it with a dog whistle.
Evan Sayet
Comedian
As an actor, you have to perform the character in the way that people relate to.
John Bishop
English comedian,
Standup is a tough job and a gritty job.
Iliza Shlesinger
American comedienne
Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - who says I like people and I always look for the good in people. I say, 'Every person has something good about them, if you can just find it.'
Larry The Cable Guy
American comedian
There are so many different ways of making people laugh and sometimes you sit down to watch something that everyone says is hilarious and within a couple of minutes you realise its comedy that isn't for you.
Limmy
Scottish comedian
Thankfully, I already have a mogul I can pattern myself after: Oprah. We're a lot alike. I'm black, I love to relate things people talk about to myself, and people think my best friend and I are lesbians! My strength is that I'm more relatable.
Jessica Williams
American actress
It's important for people to, instead of automatically assuming everything the opposite side says is incorrect, you have to at least listen and see why someone might feel a certain way.
Michelle Wolf
American comedian
Julie Christie, I used to hang out with her. She was friends with Richard Pryor and Warren Beatty and all of them. There was a club in Beverly Hills called the Candy Store, a private club. I used to hang out with them all.
Paul Mooney
American comedian
Me and Noel went to HBO once and pitched this really ludicrous idea about us driving around in a haunted car, and they just stared at us. Literally stared at us! It was awful. Luckily, we were together, so we could laugh about it, but if we were on our own, it would have been one of the worst moments ever.
Julian Barratt
English comedian
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