Funny Quotes
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
Bob Saget
American solo comedian
Money in property is dead money. It doesn't help the country. It's funny how the U.K., Ireland and Spain are the most property-obsessed nations in Europe and yet are also the ones suffering the most.
Peter Hargreaves
Business partner
I love sprinting, but I hate long-distance running. Isn't that funny?
Dylan O'brien
American actor
It was great fun to hang around the Beatles. They had amazingly fast minds, and they were incredibly amusing and funny and witty. They were great. There was a very high energy surrounding them.
Pattie Boyd
English model
I have asked my mom and my sister a couple times if I should post something or not. Or if they think a video is funny.
Cameron Dallas
American Internet personality, actor and singer,
I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.
Philippe Falardeau
Canadian film director
I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.
Taylor Swift
American singer-songwriter
When I was a kid, the idea of gettin' paid to paint your face... listen, I grew up in Ossining, New York, a nice little town by the Hudson, and nothin' ever interested me except being your usual high school big shot, which I was an' loved it, played all the sports and goofed around, always out on the street with the guys, everything was funny t'me.
Peter Falk
American film actor
But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict.
Brad Garrett
American actor
Anytime you go to see a band with a guitar player, there's always a fear of guitar overkill! That's a funny question. If you went to a Taylor Swift concert or a Jay-Z show, people would think, 'Oh, my God, I hope I don't get guitar overkill.' People come to our show for guitar, and there can never be enough.
Joe Satriani
American guitarist
I have deep comedic roots, and I want to be funny.
Khandi Alexander
American dancer
There's only one rule in stand-up, which is that you have to be funny. Yet 99 per cent of comics look and talk exactly the same.
Bo Burnham
American comedian
It was funny on '24' because I'm a Scots-Canadian, and I was working with the great Scottish actor Tony Curran, and we were both playing Russian gangsters.
Callum Keith Rennie
British-born Canadian actor
I think it's really important for celebrities to use their power of money and fame to get their voices out there. It's funny to me that we're expected to keep quiet just because of who we are. Why do I lose my right to speak my mind because I'm famous?
Lisa Edelstein
American actress
It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.
Octavia Spencer
American Actress
There's been thousands of very, very funny and also very, very nasty tweets about me.
James Charles
American beauty YouTuber
The funny thing is, when you look at photos of Tuvia Bielski, he was fair, blue-eyed, and could pass for a Gentile.
Edward Zwick
American filmmaker
My job is to be funny.
Jim Norton
American comedian
There are some extremely acceptable male comedians out there: Joel Osteen, Abraham Lincoln, the man who played Phil Spector in HBO's 'Phil Spector.' But even those guys, while insightful and amusing, aren't exactly funny.
Ellie Kemper
American actress
I talk funny 'cause I come from Canada.
Katherine Ryan
Canadian comedian
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